Randy Newmane Presents: FIM Season 2

by Randy Newmane (BronyMike)

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about

Free .zip of the album in 320kbps MP3 (So my Bandcamp doesn't run out of free downloads right away): derpy.me/Newmane2

Finally, Season 2 of Friendship is Magic has been Newmanified! It took about 2 years but I've been busy. Still, I'm hoping for Season 3 and Season 4 to not take as long.

As with last time, all credit goes Paul and Storm's original 25 Days of Newman, which I'm entirely ripping off: paulandstorm.bandcamp.com/album/the-25-days-of-newman/

The artwork is by my good pal GraphicLee. Hit him up for commissions or prints, he makes great stuff and could use the cash! Toss him a message on Tumblr or DA. He's also done art for my Ask-Flutterdon blog, and it's always quality stuff. Check it out!

sketch-modblog.tumblr.com
graphic-lee.deviantart.com

credits

released August 19, 2014

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about

BronyMike White Rock, British Columbia

Whoo! Got silly music and voices and junk in spades. Check it out 'n have a ball. But maybe not a literal ball. Though those can be fun too. I dunno, whatever. Bouncy.

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Track Name: Newmane 2x01: The Return of Harmony, Part 1
Fillies kickin’ and smackin’
So the statue is crackin’
Released the god of chaos and now he’s attackin’

Said a puzzlin’ phrase
And the stakes’ve been raised
The elements of harmony must be in the maze

He’ll flip your personality, get into your brain
You’ll think a rock’s a diamond and you’ll hate chocolate rain

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Discord, go!
You sure ain’t my friend…
Go, The Return of Harmony Part 1, go!
You got a reason to live…

Looks like we might be due for a big ol’ storm of RANDY.
Track Name: Newmane 2x02: The Return of Harmony Part 2
I dunno...
Everything’s gone crazy
‘Cause Discord, uh, turned ‘em grey or whatever
And I don’t GIVE A CRAP

So screw it
The world sucks
Ugh… wait, Twilight, what’re you doing?

You used your memories to rescue your friends
You stopped the chaos and had a Star Wars-y end

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, friendship reports, go!
You my friends…
Go, The Return of Harmony Part 2, go!
You got a reason to live…

Congratulations, Spike! You’re the new Rainbow Dash.
Track Name: Newmane 2x03: Lesson Zero
You finished your list
But there’s somethin’ you missed
Princess Celestia is gonna be pissed

Dash’s blastin’ a shed
Shy snapped a bear’s head
The Want It Need It Spell is causin’ heartache instead

When friends need helpin’, you should hear them out
So now you ALL write letters on what friendship’s about

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Smarty Pants, go!
You my friend…
Go, Lesson Zero, go!
You got a reason to live…

This is the. Worst. Possible. Thing.
Track Name: Newmane 2x04: Luna Eclipsed
Nightmare Night
What a fright
Luna’s gonna gobble you in one big bite

Fun times two
But what to do
You’re not a clever pony, you’re a chicken, Boo

Dear Princess Celest’ya, your sister is weird
And the ponies never recognize these bells, hat, and beard

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Luna, go!
You my friend…
Go, Luna Eclipsed, go!
You got a reason to live…

Huzzah! How many points do I receive?
Track Name: Newmane 2x05: Sisterhooves Social
She’s stayin’ the week
And she’s makin’ you shriek
She shrunk your sweater, used your gems, and cleaned the boutique

Won’t let Sweetie play
So she’s running away
Now Applejack’s her sister, but for only one day

Dear Princess Celest’ya, when mud’s your disguise
It might just change your race and mane and coat and your eyes

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Sweetie Belle, go!
You my friend…
Go, Sisterhooves Social, go!
You got a reason to live…

Apart, all we are is a pile of mush and a crumbly dry mess.
Track Name: Newmane 2x06: The Cutie Pox
Apple Bloom’s cutie mark
Needs a trip to the park
She eats the Heart’s Desire so her talent will spark

Loopty-Hoop spinnin’ ‘round
But the marks compound
You gotta tell the truth and eat the plant from the ground

Dear Princess Celest’ya, you can’t rush your fate
But dang if they’ll stop tryin’, ‘cause they just can’t wait

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Apple Bloom, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Cutie Pox, go!
You got a reason to live…

Apple Bloom! You’re a super-duper loopty-hooper!
Track Name: Newmane 2x07: May the Best Pet Win!
Rainbow’s upset
But no need to sweat
‘Cause Fluttershy’ll help her find the ultimate pet

That pet better fly
So they’s racin’ up high
But Dashie’s trapped by rocks and they just leave her to die

Dear Princess Celest’ya, when fast pets ignore us
We’ll get along much better with a turtle—or tortoise

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Tank, go!
You my friend…
Go, May the Best Pet Win, go!
You got a reason to live…

It can fly and it’s not a squirrel. …Should we sing about it again?
Track Name: Newmane 2x08: The Mysterious Mare Do Well
Rainbow dives
To save some lives
So now she’s a hero and her arrogance thrives

But somethin’s upset her
This new hero’s better
The feats of Mare Do Well made everypony forget her

Dear Princess Celest’ya, the mare was my friends
And Ponyville’s more dangerous than you comprehend

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Mare Do Well, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Mysterious Mare Do Well, go!
You got a reason to live…

Never fear, your friendly neighbourhood Randy’s here.
Track Name: Newmane 2x09: Sweet and Elite
They think you’re a schmoe
Got a fancy chapeau
And now you’re the pony everypony should know

You take your chance
With Fancy Pants
Your buddies crash the party, and Twilight can’t dance

Dear Princess Celest’ya, don’t hide where you’re from
Especially from all them snooty Canterlot bums

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Rarity, go!
You my friend…
Go, Sweet and Elite, go!
You got a reason to live…

I never leave home without my party cannon!
Track Name: Newmane 2x10: Secret of My Excess
Spike got a big jewel
And it’s makin’ him drool
But then he gives it up ‘cause he’s a lovestruck fool

The date of his birth
He’s stealin’ some worth
His dragon greed is givin’ him significant girth

Dear Princess Celest’ya, stealin’ is wrong,
You might become a mix between Godzilla and King Kong

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Spikey-wikey, go!
You my friend…
Go, Secret of My Excess, go!
You got a reason to live…

How rude…
Track Name: Newmane 2x11: Family Appreciation Day
The ponies are happy
‘Cause the apples are zappy
But Apple Bloom’s embarrassed and it’s all a bit crappy

She comes to your school
But instead of a fool
She tells a crazy story showin’ she’s really cool

She fought some timberwolves and planted some trees
Hopped like a bunny and befriended some bees

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Granny Smith, go!
You my friend…
Go, Family Appreciation Day, go!
You got a reason to live…

What are you, a dictionary?
Track Name: Newmane 2x12: Baby Cakes
Sittin’ some twins
The trouble begins
And Pinkie’s only problem-solving method is grins

The foals start flyin’
And hard as she’s tryin’
She can’t take the pressure, now it’s Pinkie who’s cryin’

Dear Princess Celest’ya, babies got power,
The cakes are gon’ be angry ‘cause I wasted their flour

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Pound and Pumpkin, go!
You my friends…
Go, Baby Cakes, go!
You got a reason to live…

My great great great great grandfather was a unicorn! That makes sense, right? ...Right?
Track Name: Newmane 2x13: Hearth’s Warming Eve
This Holiday shows
How the fable goes
The three types of ponies haven’t always been bros

They all disband
And search for land
But then their bickering gets out of hand

Your crazy racist antics tore you apart
You found some harmony and made a fiery pink heart

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Equestria, go!
You my friend…
Go, Hearth’s Warming Eve, go!
You got a reason to live…

Can YOU think inside a chimney? I didn’t THINK SO.
Track Name: Newmane 2x14: The Last Roundup
Applejack’s on the air
But the fans don’t care
The spotlight’s gettin’ stolen by the wall-eyed mare

So yeah, anyway,
Applejack’s MIA
She’s started pickin’ cherries for a little more pay

Dear Princess Celest’ya, something’s amiss
My episode was stolen by a grey pegasus

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Derpy, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Last Roundup, go!
You got a reason to live…

I just don’t know what went wrong…
Track Name: Newmane 2x15: The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000
Sweet Apple Cider
From your favourite provider
Could stand to stretch production just a little bit wider

These brothers are mean
They got a machine
They make the cider faster but the taste is obscene

Dear Princess Celest’ya, I didn’t learn squat,
And I swear if Flim and Flam return they’re gonna get shot

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, FlimFlam, go!
You my friends…
Go, The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, go!
You got a reason to live…

Mine’s got rocks in it…
Track Name: Newmane 2x16: Read It and Weep
Crashed too fast
Wing’s in a cast
And so your friends all bug ya ‘bout how readin’s a blast

The book is appealin’
But your wing’s been healin’
You’ve gotta read the end so you’ve resorted to stealin’

A break-in and a chase, can get pretty hairy
Did you forget that Twi lives in a freakin’ library?

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Daring Do, go!
You my friend…
Go, Read It and Weep, go!
You got a reason to live…

I, AM, VICTORIOUS!
Track Name: Newmane 2x17: Hearts and Hooves Day
Poor Cheerilee
The Crusaders agree
Big Mac has gotta be her Special Somepo-ny

Whip up a spell
‘S not goin’ well
They gotta be apart an hour for it to quell

They goin’ crazy and they wanna get hitched
To solve it all they gotta do is fall in a ditch

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Schmoopy-Doo, go!
You my friend…
Go, Hearts and Hooves Day, go!
You got a reason to live…

Oh, come on!
Track Name: Newmane 2x18: A Friend in Deed
Pinkie’s style
Makes everyone smile
The Cranky Doodle Donkey thinks it’s utterly vile

You dance a jig
And give him a wig
Your level of excitement’s just way too big

Dear Princess Celest’ya, don’t cause a riot
When donkeys and their sweethearts want some peace and quiet

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Cranky, go!
You my friend…
Go, A Friend in Deed, go!
You got a reason to live…

Four evers? That’s like, forever.
Track Name: Newmane 2x19: Putting Your Hoof Down
Angel’s abusive
The market’s conducive
Flutter’s gotta be less unobtrusive

Self-help minotaur
Is way hardcore
So now you’re a monster and you’re lockin’ your door

Dear Princess Celest’ya, isn’t it funny
That Iron Will’s more reasonable than that dang bunny

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Iron Will, go!
You my friend…
Go, Putting Your Hoof Down, go!
You got a reason to live…

Randy is my name, singin’ ponies is my game.
Track Name: Newmane 2x20: It’s About Time
Got a bad warnin’
From next Tuesday mornin’
A Solid Snake-y outfit Future Twi was adornin’

Your hair gonna fry
Got a patch on your eye
It’s still comin’ true no matter how hard you try

You freaked yourself out, it was all a big fluke
And ‘cause he overate, Future Spike gonna puke

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Future Twilight, go!
You my friend…
Go, It’s About Time, go!
You got a reason to live…

I keep balls stashed all over Ponyville, in case of ball emergency.
Track Name: Newmane 2x21: Dragon Quest
The dragon migration
Gave Spike dedication
To go and learn some more about his distant relations

Finish the quest
These dragons are messed
They wanna steal a phoenix egg from out of a nest

Dear Princess Celest’ya, never feel lonely
This dragon always gonna be their little pony

Nopony believed that he could win

Go, Peewee, go!
You my friend…
Go, Dragon Quest, go!
You got a reason to live…

Spike’s pen pals with a namby pamby pony princess! …And Crackle’s cousin.
Track Name: Newmane 2x22: Hurricane Fluttershy
To bring the rain
They gotta train
Some pegasi are sick because of Thunderlane

A judging glower
Makes Fluttershy cower
Without her flyin’ they won’t have enough wingpower

Dear Princess Celest’ya, I’m not the best flyer
But at least I pulled my weight unlike that lousy Spitfire

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Pegasi, go!
You my friends…
Go, Hurricane Fluttershy, go!
You got a reason to live…

Fluttershy, you can really fly! Well… kinda.
Track Name: Newmane 2x23: Ponyville Confidential
Crusaders digress
But findin’ success,
They’re writin’ gossip columns for the Foal Free Press

The article’s humours
Indulge the consumers
But now the ponies hate ‘em ‘cause they’re makin’ up rumours

Dear all of Ponyville, that gossipin’ portion
Was all brought on by Di-a-mond Tiara’s extortion

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Gabby Gums, go!
You my friend…
Go, Ponyville Confidential, go!
You got a reason to live…

But Namby Pamby was a great editor!
Track Name: Newmane 2x24: MMMystery on the Friendship Express
The Cakes’ cake
It takes the cake
To win the competition is a piece of cake

…Hang on, I-I’m stuck. Uh, let me restart this one.

In the caboose
With a moose made of mousse
A cake-eatin’ criminal is runnin’ loose

Twi’s on the case,
Ya gotta retrace
The ponies left clues all over the place

Dear Princess Celest’ya, these guys are insane
And I’ve had it with these motherbuckin’ cakes on this train

Nopony believed that it could win

Go, MMMM, go!
You my friend…
Go, MMMystery on the Friendship Express, go!
You got a reason to live…

Exactly! Who did-done-do’ed it?
Track Name: Newmane 2x25: A Canterlot Wedding – Part 1
Surprise invitation
A big celebration
Your brother’s marryin’ the princess of the nation

Twilight concludes
That none of these dudes
Can see just how much Princess Cadence deludes

Oh Twilight Sparkle, when will you learn
You mess with the bride and you’re gonna get burned

Nopony believed that she could win

Go, Twiley, go!
You my friend…
Go, A Canterlot Wedding Part 1, go!
You got a reason to live…

I’m calling it right now—Twilight’s a changeling.
Track Name: Newmane 2x26: A Canterlot Wedding – Part 2
Stuck in a mine
No time to whine
‘Cause Cadence was a double and the real one is fine

The changeling queen
Black and green
Is lettin’ in the bugs, now they’re takin’ the scene

They beat Celest’ya and caught every pony
Defeated Chrysalis with... er… matrimony?

Nopony believed that they could win

Go, Cadence and Shining Armor, go!
You my friends…
Go, A Canterlot Wedding Part 2, go!
You got a reason to live…

Oof, I’m glad those changelings are gone. Me too.