1. |
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Fillies kickin’ and smackin’
So the statue is crackin’
Released the god of chaos and now he’s attackin’
Said a puzzlin’ phrase
And the stakes’ve been raised
The elements of harmony must be in the maze
He’ll flip your personality, get into your brain
You’ll think a rock’s a diamond and you’ll hate chocolate rain
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Discord, go!
You sure ain’t my friend…
Go, The Return of Harmony Part 1, go!
You got a reason to live…
Looks like we might be due for a big ol’ storm of RANDY.
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2. |
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I dunno...
Everything’s gone crazy
‘Cause Discord, uh, turned ‘em grey or whatever
And I don’t GIVE A CRAP
So screw it
The world sucks
Ugh… wait, Twilight, what’re you doing?
You used your memories to rescue your friends
You stopped the chaos and had a Star Wars-y end
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, friendship reports, go!
You my friends…
Go, The Return of Harmony Part 2, go!
You got a reason to live…
Congratulations, Spike! You’re the new Rainbow Dash.
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3. |
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You finished your list
But there’s somethin’ you missed
Princess Celestia is gonna be pissed
Dash’s blastin’ a shed
Shy snapped a bear’s head
The Want It Need It Spell is causin’ heartache instead
When friends need helpin’, you should hear them out
So now you ALL write letters on what friendship’s about
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Smarty Pants, go!
You my friend…
Go, Lesson Zero, go!
You got a reason to live…
This is the. Worst. Possible. Thing.
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4. |
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Nightmare Night
What a fright
Luna’s gonna gobble you in one big bite
Fun times two
But what to do
You’re not a clever pony, you’re a chicken, Boo
Dear Princess Celest’ya, your sister is weird
And the ponies never recognize these bells, hat, and beard
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Luna, go!
You my friend…
Go, Luna Eclipsed, go!
You got a reason to live…
Huzzah! How many points do I receive?
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5. |
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She’s stayin’ the week
And she’s makin’ you shriek
She shrunk your sweater, used your gems, and cleaned the boutique
Won’t let Sweetie play
So she’s running away
Now Applejack’s her sister, but for only one day
Dear Princess Celest’ya, when mud’s your disguise
It might just change your race and mane and coat and your eyes
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Sweetie Belle, go!
You my friend…
Go, Sisterhooves Social, go!
You got a reason to live…
Apart, all we are is a pile of mush and a crumbly dry mess.
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6. |
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Apple Bloom’s cutie mark
Needs a trip to the park
She eats the Heart’s Desire so her talent will spark
Loopty-Hoop spinnin’ ‘round
But the marks compound
You gotta tell the truth and eat the plant from the ground
Dear Princess Celest’ya, you can’t rush your fate
But dang if they’ll stop tryin’, ‘cause they just can’t wait
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Apple Bloom, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Cutie Pox, go!
You got a reason to live…
Apple Bloom! You’re a super-duper loopty-hooper!
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7. |
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Rainbow’s upset
But no need to sweat
‘Cause Fluttershy’ll help her find the ultimate pet
That pet better fly
So they’s racin’ up high
But Dashie’s trapped by rocks and they just leave her to die
Dear Princess Celest’ya, when fast pets ignore us
We’ll get along much better with a turtle—or tortoise
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Tank, go!
You my friend…
Go, May the Best Pet Win, go!
You got a reason to live…
It can fly and it’s not a squirrel. …Should we sing about it again?
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8. |
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Rainbow dives
To save some lives
So now she’s a hero and her arrogance thrives
But somethin’s upset her
This new hero’s better
The feats of Mare Do Well made everypony forget her
Dear Princess Celest’ya, the mare was my friends
And Ponyville’s more dangerous than you comprehend
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Mare Do Well, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Mysterious Mare Do Well, go!
You got a reason to live…
Never fear, your friendly neighbourhood Randy’s here.
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9. |
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They think you’re a schmoe
Got a fancy chapeau
And now you’re the pony everypony should know
You take your chance
With Fancy Pants
Your buddies crash the party, and Twilight can’t dance
Dear Princess Celest’ya, don’t hide where you’re from
Especially from all them snooty Canterlot bums
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Rarity, go!
You my friend…
Go, Sweet and Elite, go!
You got a reason to live…
I never leave home without my party cannon!
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10. |
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Spike got a big jewel
And it’s makin’ him drool
But then he gives it up ‘cause he’s a lovestruck fool
The date of his birth
He’s stealin’ some worth
His dragon greed is givin’ him significant girth
Dear Princess Celest’ya, stealin’ is wrong,
You might become a mix between Godzilla and King Kong
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Spikey-wikey, go!
You my friend…
Go, Secret of My Excess, go!
You got a reason to live…
How rude…
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11. |
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The ponies are happy
‘Cause the apples are zappy
But Apple Bloom’s embarrassed and it’s all a bit crappy
She comes to your school
But instead of a fool
She tells a crazy story showin’ she’s really cool
She fought some timberwolves and planted some trees
Hopped like a bunny and befriended some bees
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Granny Smith, go!
You my friend…
Go, Family Appreciation Day, go!
You got a reason to live…
What are you, a dictionary?
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12. |
Newmane 2x12: Baby Cakes
01:29
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Sittin’ some twins
The trouble begins
And Pinkie’s only problem-solving method is grins
The foals start flyin’
And hard as she’s tryin’
She can’t take the pressure, now it’s Pinkie who’s cryin’
Dear Princess Celest’ya, babies got power,
The cakes are gon’ be angry ‘cause I wasted their flour
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Pound and Pumpkin, go!
You my friends…
Go, Baby Cakes, go!
You got a reason to live…
My great great great great grandfather was a unicorn! That makes sense, right? ...Right?
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13. |
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This Holiday shows
How the fable goes
The three types of ponies haven’t always been bros
They all disband
And search for land
But then their bickering gets out of hand
Your crazy racist antics tore you apart
You found some harmony and made a fiery pink heart
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Equestria, go!
You my friend…
Go, Hearth’s Warming Eve, go!
You got a reason to live…
Can YOU think inside a chimney? I didn’t THINK SO.
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14. |
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Applejack’s on the air
But the fans don’t care
The spotlight’s gettin’ stolen by the wall-eyed mare
So yeah, anyway,
Applejack’s MIA
She’s started pickin’ cherries for a little more pay
Dear Princess Celest’ya, something’s amiss
My episode was stolen by a grey pegasus
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Derpy, go!
You my friend…
Go, The Last Roundup, go!
You got a reason to live…
I just don’t know what went wrong…
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15. |
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Sweet Apple Cider
From your favourite provider
Could stand to stretch production just a little bit wider
These brothers are mean
They got a machine
They make the cider faster but the taste is obscene
Dear Princess Celest’ya, I didn’t learn squat,
And I swear if Flim and Flam return they’re gonna get shot
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, FlimFlam, go!
You my friends…
Go, The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, go!
You got a reason to live…
Mine’s got rocks in it…
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16. |
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Crashed too fast
Wing’s in a cast
And so your friends all bug ya ‘bout how readin’s a blast
The book is appealin’
But your wing’s been healin’
You’ve gotta read the end so you’ve resorted to stealin’
A break-in and a chase, can get pretty hairy
Did you forget that Twi lives in a freakin’ library?
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Daring Do, go!
You my friend…
Go, Read It and Weep, go!
You got a reason to live…
I, AM, VICTORIOUS!
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17. |
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Poor Cheerilee
The Crusaders agree
Big Mac has gotta be her Special Somepo-ny
Whip up a spell
‘S not goin’ well
They gotta be apart an hour for it to quell
They goin’ crazy and they wanna get hitched
To solve it all they gotta do is fall in a ditch
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Schmoopy-Doo, go!
You my friend…
Go, Hearts and Hooves Day, go!
You got a reason to live…
Oh, come on!
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18. |
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Pinkie’s style
Makes everyone smile
The Cranky Doodle Donkey thinks it’s utterly vile
You dance a jig
And give him a wig
Your level of excitement’s just way too big
Dear Princess Celest’ya, don’t cause a riot
When donkeys and their sweethearts want some peace and quiet
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Cranky, go!
You my friend…
Go, A Friend in Deed, go!
You got a reason to live…
Four evers? That’s like, forever.
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19. |
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Angel’s abusive
The market’s conducive
Flutter’s gotta be less unobtrusive
Self-help minotaur
Is way hardcore
So now you’re a monster and you’re lockin’ your door
Dear Princess Celest’ya, isn’t it funny
That Iron Will’s more reasonable than that dang bunny
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Iron Will, go!
You my friend…
Go, Putting Your Hoof Down, go!
You got a reason to live…
Randy is my name, singin’ ponies is my game.
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20. |
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Got a bad warnin’
From next Tuesday mornin’
A Solid Snake-y outfit Future Twi was adornin’
Your hair gonna fry
Got a patch on your eye
It’s still comin’ true no matter how hard you try
You freaked yourself out, it was all a big fluke
And ‘cause he overate, Future Spike gonna puke
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Future Twilight, go!
You my friend…
Go, It’s About Time, go!
You got a reason to live…
I keep balls stashed all over Ponyville, in case of ball emergency.
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21. |
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The dragon migration
Gave Spike dedication
To go and learn some more about his distant relations
Finish the quest
These dragons are messed
They wanna steal a phoenix egg from out of a nest
Dear Princess Celest’ya, never feel lonely
This dragon always gonna be their little pony
Nopony believed that he could win
Go, Peewee, go!
You my friend…
Go, Dragon Quest, go!
You got a reason to live…
Spike’s pen pals with a namby pamby pony princess! …And Crackle’s cousin.
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22. |
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To bring the rain
They gotta train
Some pegasi are sick because of Thunderlane
A judging glower
Makes Fluttershy cower
Without her flyin’ they won’t have enough wingpower
Dear Princess Celest’ya, I’m not the best flyer
But at least I pulled my weight unlike that lousy Spitfire
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Pegasi, go!
You my friends…
Go, Hurricane Fluttershy, go!
You got a reason to live…
Fluttershy, you can really fly! Well… kinda.
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23. |
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Crusaders digress
But findin’ success,
They’re writin’ gossip columns for the Foal Free Press
The article’s humours
Indulge the consumers
But now the ponies hate ‘em ‘cause they’re makin’ up rumours
Dear all of Ponyville, that gossipin’ portion
Was all brought on by Di-a-mond Tiara’s extortion
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Gabby Gums, go!
You my friend…
Go, Ponyville Confidential, go!
You got a reason to live…
But Namby Pamby was a great editor!
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24. |
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The Cakes’ cake
It takes the cake
To win the competition is a piece of cake
…Hang on, I-I’m stuck. Uh, let me restart this one.
In the caboose
With a moose made of mousse
A cake-eatin’ criminal is runnin’ loose
Twi’s on the case,
Ya gotta retrace
The ponies left clues all over the place
Dear Princess Celest’ya, these guys are insane
And I’ve had it with these motherbuckin’ cakes on this train
Nopony believed that it could win
Go, MMMM, go!
You my friend…
Go, MMMystery on the Friendship Express, go!
You got a reason to live…
Exactly! Who did-done-do’ed it?
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25. |
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Surprise invitation
A big celebration
Your brother’s marryin’ the princess of the nation
Twilight concludes
That none of these dudes
Can see just how much Princess Cadence deludes
Oh Twilight Sparkle, when will you learn
You mess with the bride and you’re gonna get burned
Nopony believed that she could win
Go, Twiley, go!
You my friend…
Go, A Canterlot Wedding Part 1, go!
You got a reason to live…
I’m calling it right now—Twilight’s a changeling.
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26. |
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Stuck in a mine
No time to whine
‘Cause Cadence was a double and the real one is fine
The changeling queen
Black and green
Is lettin’ in the bugs, now they’re takin’ the scene
They beat Celest’ya and caught every pony
Defeated Chrysalis with... er… matrimony?
Nopony believed that they could win
Go, Cadence and Shining Armor, go!
You my friends…
Go, A Canterlot Wedding Part 2, go!
You got a reason to live…
Oof, I’m glad those changelings are gone. Me too.
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BronyMike Vancouver, British Columbia
Silly Brony Musician. Open to collaborate!
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